Your Hair Is Long

by Sarah Durn (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown USA

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“Your hair! It’s so long now!” It’s the first thing Rachel said when she saw me eight months later, after I traded New York City for a farm in Sweden, Maine. “Is it?” “Um… yes?!” “Good long?” “Different long.” My hair is the only thing different from the person I am and the person I was before my brother died. How can I look so similar to her, the girl who didn’t know death? We have the same blue-grey eyes, the same wheat-colored hair, the same hands. But, my hair is longer now. Before the accident, I was like a blonde Zooey Deschanel, happy to play the manic pixie dream girl in my own fantasy. I went to parties. I flirted with boys. Friends told me I was happy. I believed them. When Alex died, a cavern cracked open inside of me— deep and dark and scary. Blonde Zooey Deschanel was D.O.A. I thought I could be one of those artists who turned their darkness into light, that I could beat grief into a 90-minute play with no intermission. I thought I could twist these weird, new feelings into something beautiful, into my greatest theatrical success, get some rave review from a respected downtown NYC theatre critic launching my career as a playwright. I wanted to tiptoe around the edges of the cavern, safe, and only peer inside. That’s not what happened. The cavern lip gave way, and I fell inside, encased in the darkness. I cancelled the play. I left New York. I broke my lease. I left my job. I found a farm in rural Maine I could volunteer at. But, my parents were (understandably) worried. They wanted me home in Ohio, in their care, not road tripping to some farm in Maine. And so, home I went. It was easier than arguing. At home, the cavern’s darkness grew around me. I was adrift without work, without the play, without blonde Zooey Deschanel to wear as a mask. I cried in locked bathrooms and staring up at the white ceiling of my childhood bedroom. Some days, I didn’t get up. Some days, I wandered the house like a haunting. I couldn’t see any way out. But, even in the thick, swirling darkness, I felt the tug to go. A quiet voice beckoned me away from Ohio. It was a month before I finally left, a month before I honored the voice telling me, “go darling.” When I first got in the car, I didn’t stop for 5 hours, quite a feat when you guzzle water the way I do. The call to leave had finally won, and it wanted to put a long stretch of road between the place I had come from and where I was going. The windows were down. I was singing Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” over the roaring wind. And, I was laughing. When I got to Maine, no one knew what my hair looked like when my brother died. No one knew my brother had died. They didn’t know my tears or my pain. I didn’t need them to. I dug my hands in the dirt. I fed a flock of ducks. I road-tripped to Acadia National Park and climbed the iron-rung trails. I watched the sun set in Portland. I began to heal. I didn’t fight the darkness. Instead, I let it embrace my jagged edges. Now, back in New York, I still have dirt beneath my nails. I still remember the sound of rain on the roof of my camper van home. I am the same. And, I am different. My hair is long.